Always A Fire | Chad Jones Documentary

Great story about a sure thing that gets ripped from you in an instant. 

I Hate Your Facebook Posts

                              

I remember when I first got a facebook account back in Freshman year of college.  It was such a nice tool back then.  That was when only college students could get it and before the term "Facebook Stalking" was invented.  It was a way for college kids to stay connected aka a way for guys to hunt down girls in college (as if the traditional way wasn't working good enough), but then the evolution began.  They soon opened it  to all kinds of people: High School kids, Parents, businesses etc; and slowly but surely it lost its allure.  You're photo albums of you passed out wasted with penises drawn all over your face, because you have awesome friends, no longer was a source of hilarity but rather a tool to be used against you in job interviews.  Your plans for the night posted on your status suddenly became an invitation for the crazy guy to show up and awkwardly stare at you ( you know who you are guy, and you girls all have that facebook friend).  However, all of this isn't what made Facebook into a shell of what it use to be...YOU DID!!!

You ruined Facebook for everybody with your silly posts that aren't relevant to anyone on your friends list.  You don't believe me...here is the list of annoying things that people do on Facebook. Tell me you don't agree.

1) Repeatedly Posting pictures of your child:  We were all happy for you being pregnant and expecting your first child (We doesn't include your disappointed parents, your best friend or the babys father but you get the idea). But then, it took a turn for the worst.  It got annoying when you started posting pictures of your pregnant stomach all over THE BOOK every two weeks. We get it, you're getting huge. That's really important because you are the first girl to ever get a huge stomach when shes pregnant.  Amazing. Just when we didn't think it could get any worse, you actually had the child and every breathing moment became a photo that you just had to share with all of us.  Let me be very clear here: WE DON'T HATE YOU OR YOUR CHILD BUT DAMN. WE DON'T NEED TO SEE ALL OF IT. 

2)Posting Pictures of your food:  THE BOOK is not a cooking website.  We don't give a damn what you made or what you ordered at a restaurant unless it is of epic proportions.  Get that off my timeline.  Posting pictures of your food could only mean two things: you're fat, or you will be fat very soon.  (Literally just laughed loudly to myself) 

3) The Religious Guilt:  I am not taking a stance on religion here because religions themselves don't annoy me...but what does is your "Like this if you love God. If you don't, keep scrolling.  Only you and God will know".  This is the most ridiculous garbage.  I'm sure liking this picture or status will keep God off my back for 24 hours, I don't know how people ever got along with God before THE BOOK came along.  I'm plenty sure that God is more concerned with the fornication that you were involved in on Saturday night and liking this picture/or status wont get you out of the buddy. 

4) THIS:
I admit these kind of little gems were hilarious when people first started doing them. Now they are just annoying as hell.  Any ten year old with a computer could do this, why is yours so important.  I hate your guts. 

5) Your Shameless Publicity:  You are pushing a product and we have to hear about it every 5 seconds.  Cool right? NO. No one understands more than I do that having people aware of your product is the best way to sell, but as a salesman I also understand that bombardment is a horrible sales strategy.  Inform me, humor me, show me why I should be interested or want to buy. Get that mess off my timeline. 

If you are guilty of these atrocities, don't feel bad, don't get mad. Just stop doing it, and you'll be amazed at how quickly people will start liking your statuses again.  Bums