Bumper Stickers

                               
I had a long drawn out introduction but lets skip it because we've already been acqainted and get right to the point.  I HATE BUMPER STICKERS! And here is the list of the ones I hate and why.

1) Political Bumper stickers:  What better way to make your car a target for keying than having a Tea Party sticker on it while parked in an urban neighborhood.  I especially hate this if the car you drive is counter to the beliefs of that particular party (ex: having a republican sticker on you busted up 1992 Toyota)

1A) If you have a NObama sticker, It reads to me "Racist inside, don't make eye contact" Just kidding, but seriously

2)Honor Roll Student: We are all proud of your honor roll student, and by we I mean just you.  The funny part about these stickers is they don't make your student feel important.  It doesn't even say the name of the  person who earned it. 

2A) Your pet is not smarter than anyones child.  That sticker is the reason you are 45 and lonely.  Get some friends and stop buying bumper stickers about your pet Cat Lady.

3) Free Tibet:  From the sticker we can come to a few conclusions.  A) Tibet isn't free and we need to free it but you didn't tell me how and 5 seconds later we no longer care. B) Tibet is free, where can I get my share. I don't know how it taste but Free Tibet sounds delicious

4)Subaru Driver, Bumper Sticker: You are a hippy and nobody cares what you have to say.  Go away and take a shower.

5) "I'd Rather Be Fishing":  Would you really rather be fishing than being stuck in traffic? You are the only person who would rather be somewhere else older male.  You wouldn't rather be in Vegas, or in LA on the beach? You my friend are stupid and I hope you never get to go fishing again.

6)The Jesus Fish: "Everytime I think of Jesus all I can think about is fish".  I have one word for the rich idiot who thought of this bumper sticker...WOW

7) The Darwin Sticker:  You, evolution believer were so threatend by the Jesus fish that you had to copy it and add feet.  Bravo you passive aggressive sissy; you are clearly one upping the religious zealots now.  You my friend are not only a thief but gutless. 

Rule of thumb: Unless your bumper sticker is so funny that you must share, then keep it to yourself.  Before you put it on your car ask yourself this "Will this enhance almost everybodies day?".  If the answer is no, then you should say no.  Lastly, say no to mini vans!!!!