The Trash Your Kids Are Watching

                          
I look at cartoons today and I feel so ashamed to say that I ever use to watch an extreme amount of them.  On occasion i'll sit down with my niece and try to comprehend the incredibly incoherent, extremely dumb cartoons she watches. It is so hard to understand that I don't even know where to start.

I guess I'll start with Spongebob. Ok, so there is a sea sponge, a starfish, and a squid that are all friends...well the sea sponge and the squid work at an underwater restaurant called the KRUSTY KRAB.  Forgive me if i break out in a curse filled rage because this is where shit gets really stupid. The owner is a crab named Mr. Krabs, (please don't attempt to hold in your laughter at the obvious innuendo).  At the Krusty Krab their main sandwich is the Krabby Patty (which we can assume contains crab, which we can also assume is the reason you never see anymore crabs in Bikini Bottom (the name of the city this all takes place in)).  Now, to add to that, Mr. Krabs has a daughter...wait for it...WHO IS A GOTDAMN SHARK!!! No wonder kids cant figure out that 2+2 equals because they think that a crab has sex with another crab and by some miracle a damn shark is produced.  This is irresponsible programming.

Then there is this Columbian prostitute who goes by the name Dora The Explorer.  She hangs out with a purple monkey and a talking backpack.  This program is supposed to be educational but it is the exact opposite.  The damn Columbian prostitute will ask obvious questions of your kids and wait for them to answer for like a really long time.  There will obviously be a golden key on the right side of the screen as big as day and she will say "Can you find the key?"*insert really long awkward pause* Your kid doesn't answer or move and then Dora says "Look, there it is. You found it".  This is why your son or daughter will never answer any question you ask them because they assume you will just answer the question and reward them with smiles and applause.  Now your kid thinks they are some sort of Jedi that can answer questions without moving or saying anything (which is possible by the way but in very few situations i.e When a bum asks you for change and you just look at him without saying anything or moving).  People, don't let your kids or your nieces and nephews watch this trash. It will melt their brain and they will start to think in Nickelodeon terms. 

What Does It Mean To Be Black?

                                      

For as long as I can remember I've been a black person, and I don't expect it to change anytime before I die.  When some people hear the term black guy they think of a rapper; when others hear the the term they think of maybe their black friend/s. Very rarely is the black guy thought of a business man, or a family man ( or at least to my understanding it very rarely is).  They funny thing is any black guy can be any of the aforementioned people. 
Throughout my adolescence I have been many different black guys. I was the very hip hop, du rag and white tee wearing guy; I was the token black guy hanging out with the white guys just trying to blend in, and now, no longer an adolescent, I am the black businessman.  However, throughout my adolescence, and up to today my Blackness is constantly being defined by those around me.
For those of you who don't know me, I play football and have for most of my life.  Well, as with any sport, the longer you play the more characters you encounter from different places and different backgrounds.  Rich guys, poor guys, crazy guys, loud flamboyant guys etc.  After a while, the black guys you encounter tend to be from very similar backgrounds and are basically similar people (lower middle class, flamboyant, weed smoking, Jordan wearing, slang talking guys).  With that being said, the longer you play the more you are expected to fit into this class of Blackness. You aren't just expected to fit into this class by the other races and cultures you encounter but also by the other black people you encounter and this is where it gets awkward for me.
Since college I have been ridiculed for not fitting the Blackness mold that my black teammates have set for me. I don't smoke weed, I speak proper english, and I don't use slang most of the time.  I have been told by my black teammates that I'm not really black or that I'm the whitest black guy ever.  Both of these statements to me are comical.
There is no such thing as Blackness, there is no such thing as sounding white. The way you sound, the way you dress, the intelligence with which you speak only reflects your upbringing.  There is only urban and suburban, educated and uneducated, southern drawl or none, well spoken or not.  Is it shameful that black people expect other black people to act a certain way? Do white people expect other white people to behave a certain way? What about hispanics?
What people fail to realize is that while the color of your skin has a lot to do with who you are and what you become, it is not the end all be all in defining what you are or what you lifes outcome is.  I find it extremely ironic that civil rights was about looking past the a persons exterior to understand what makes the person who they are inside; and the people who are the beneficiaries of this movement still pre-judge by what they have determined is Blackness.  Laughable

Would You Have Shot Trayvon???

                           
If you were walking around your quiet suburban neighborhood and you saw someone walking up the street who was obviously not white, and wearing a hoody with the hood up, how would you react? No seriously, how would you react?  Most of us would use the "I'm not racist or prejudice" defense immediately but be honest. A minority walking around in clothes like that is much more intimidating than a white person wearing the exact same thing. 
That is because you have been conditioned to believe that black people (in this case) who dress like that have a higher propensity to be dangerous or violent.  Watch cops, watch gangster movies, watch tv, even BET shows black people in that same light.  Its not your fault necessarily, unless you consciously believe so.  But in most of us it is such a conditioned response, it is all that we know.  When you see a lone white male in a park late at night and he looks suspicious you think to yourself "serial killer, or rapist" but a minority/black male and you think "gangster, drug dealer"  and you are unable to contain your fear.  You think that he will steal your purse, mug you and beat you half to death. When in reality I am just walking home. 
Now think of the case of George Zimmerman, a man who himself is half minority, whose neighborhood has been victim of break ins by what happened to be reported as black males.  So he naturally thinks that this young black male is one of those criminals.  Couple this situation with the built up racism and hatred that Zimmerman had come to have from ,at the least the recent break ins, and who knows what else happened in his life.  Would you have felt threatened? Would you have pulled a gun out and pulled the trigger?

I want to make it clear that I am in no way taking up for George Zimmerman, or in anyway defending his actions. I just want to put you in his mind. We often look at these things from the outside and say to ourselves "how could someone do that" and we feel so holy about ourselves.  When in reality, we also may have felt threatened.  Threatened enough to ask him what he was doing?, probably not. And definitely not threatened  enough to pull the trigger on an unarmed teenager.  Just realize the stigma that society and you place on certain groups and people and how these stigma play a role in how people make decisions.  Whether these stigma are correct or not. 

And They Say Curiousity Killed The Cat

                              

The differences between white people and black people are numerous.  Black people can dance, white people usually jump around like crazy people and call it slam dancing.  Black people are really athletic, our white counter parts...not so much.  However, the biggest difference of all; the thing that separates us is the blatant "curiousity" of my caucasian friends.  If you don't believe me I intend to prove to you this theory as 100 percent fact.

Exhibit A: The picture above is two white guys, european albeit, hanging out with white tigers like they are plush beanie babies.  Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen any black person this close to any wild animal? Try me, google black guys and tigers and the only thing you will get is pictures of that playboy Tiger Woods. Yeah, black tiger alright.  Me and mine, wont even get this close to our family dog.  She has teeth, and she has fur...thats a dangerous creature and we keep our distance. 

Exhibit B:  Christopher Columbus.  Need I say more?  Follow my reasoning. Christopher Columbus, a white guy, was so adventurous that he was willing to sail to what was believed to be the edge of the earth.  Not for money, not for fame, but because he was curious to see if the world really was flat.  Not I, said the black person.  The western coast of Africa is riddled with tribes and I'm sure they had the ability to build ships and boats and explore. The issue is we didn't give a damn what was outside of Africa.  We were content enough trying to understand our own world. Not curious enough to go out and try and conquer others. 

Exhibit C: How many black people have you heard of dying because they were cliff diving, skydiving, bungee jumping etc? Too many to damn count, every time you turn to spike tv and watch "The Most Outrageous Videos" there is always some white guys who got slammed into the side of a cliff because his parachute got tangled.  Or some white dude had a warehouse full of fireworks and was smoking meth out there and they all caught fire.  What about us, the black people? While I am not proud to say it the only time you see us on the "The Most Outrageous" is because we tried to rob a liquor store with a nerf gun and got smacked to death by the little asian guy behind the counter. 

Final Exhibit: The Crocodile Hunter.  If you didn't see this one coming then you don't have good foresight.  This crazy caucasian became famous for wrestling crocs and gators (too lazy to spell them both out and too lazy to spell check them).  You would never catch a black person doing this, hell you couldn't even underpay a mexican to do this; and mexicans are the Mikeys of the working world (see old life cereal commercials).  Now can you tell me what the hell THE CROCODILE HUNTER was doing in the ocean with STING RAYS? Those are two birds of different flocks, one may even be a flightless bird and the other in the Artic.  You would never catch Ray Ray the stereo salesman branching out and trying to sell weed on the side.  So why the hell was Steve Irwin in the ocean looking at sting rays. 

Our differences are what us unique, and my white friends are all unique in their own way.  I have had friends of all races, colors, creeds and ethnicities but my white friends are always up for the adventure.  They are willing to drink more alcohol than should be humanly possible, drink alcohol and operate watercraft, do drugs that I have never even heard of, and most notably jump into the ocean with a damn sting ray. And they say curiousity killed the cat...if the cat is a white male then that statement is true.

Tim Wise - The Pathology of White Privilege

Before you watch this video beware that everything you hear you will not like however it is very thought provoking. This video is a solid hour long but it is very well put and will provide a discussion for you and your friends long after you finish watching. Happy Black History Month

Hot New Rap!!!

My brother is the rap eficionado (spell check) and put me on this new rapper out of The Bay. Check It out

President Obama is Coming...Be Very Afraid

                                      
Hey you racist bastards, it seems like President Obamas plan is working.  The economy is turning around, I mean really though always leave it to the black guy to clean the mess up nicely.  According to CNN, the jobless rate has dropped to 8.3 percent. The lowest it has been since he took office. There is an old negro saying that goes "whatever a rich, stupid, spoiled white person leaves in disarray; a handsome, well endowed, basketball playing negro will vastly improve".  Ok, so thats not a real saying but it sure is true. I bet after reading that last part Laura Bush wishes George would have left her in the dust too so she could get a piece of that young stud Obama. 

In all seriousness though, there are only a two reasons why you can dislike our president.  Either you are misinformed or you are racist. Thats it. There is no other reason to dislike him. Every other black person is beloved for the reasons that he is hated.  He's black, good at sports, can dance and sing, and he's inspiring (pretty much Ray Lewis in The White House). Last time I checked people love Chris Brown and I just described him (minus the hitting Rihanna thing).  Continue to spew birth certificate rhetoric and say "he's a socialist", it really just makes you look stupid to your educated friends.  They only reason your Pro intelligence friends continue to keep you around is because they need someone to lick the battery to see if it still works....YOU STUPID RACIST BASTARD!

Here is the CNN article talking about the unemployment rate beginning to plummet.
http://money.cnn.com/2012/02/03/news/economy/jobs_report_unemployment/index.htm?hpt=hp_t1