Homeless Entrepreneurs

                          
Ladies and gentlemen, this country is facing an epidemic. A homeless epidemic!!! The homeless in this country are becoming less and less homeless by the day. This at first sounds great.  Who doesn't want less homeless? Its what we all dreamed of right?  Well you didn't read that very well. The homeless people we see on the corners, by our highways, at our major intersections, next to the McDonalds drive thru aren't really homeless.  How do I know you ask?  Because I am a student of the Homeless Sciences; yes its a real science.  I minored in Homeless Sciences at The Fort Hays State University.

The homeless people that we are seeing next to our highways are not really homeless but rather they are homeless as a career choice.  And who can blame them, these guys are making a killing.  Think about that overwhelming feeling that comes over you when you pull up to the light and there you see it.  That damn cardboard sign written in that expensive Sharpie permanent marker.  I couldn't even afford to buy Sharpies in college with the governments money but somehow these "homeless" sons a bitches can.  However, I digress, when you see that damn sign you get filled with so much guilt you can't even look over at the person holding the sign without feeling like you owe them a dollar.  Everytime I see one of these people I feel as if the only reason they are homeless is because they loaned me their last dollar, knowing very well they had to pay their $1 dollar rent the very next day; and me thinking that "it's just a dollar" didn't pay it back in time thus getting them evicted.  Thats the obligation I feel when we make eye contact. 

At least thats how I used to feel about the homeless person standing on the side of the road. I felt that obligation until I finished my minor in Homeless Sciences.  Thats when I completely figured it for the first time.  LOOK AT THE SHOES!!!  The shoes of a "homeless" person will tell you everything you need to know about their current sitation.  Real homeless people have the most busted up shoes possible. Envision Tom Hanks in Cast Away, or the pair of shoes that you would wear if you knew you were going to step in human feces all day long.  Their shoes are that bad. 

When I had my first experience in the field, I was getting off the highway and I realized that the same two or three people work this exit and they are there everyday.  I began to search my head for answers then I looked down to avoid the gazing eyes behind the cardboard sign and I saw it. Her shoes were cleaner than mine.  They weren't no Kmart specials either.  Then the next day another guy had on some Jordans, they weren't super clean but nonetheless they were Jordans.  The most egregious of them all happened just recently.  On two separate occasions I have seen "homeless" people with some damn SKETCHERS SHAPE UPS on.  I almost pulled over and beat both of them down for insulting my intelligence.  These two, Dudes i might add, had the audacity to take the money they had been collecting to buy shoes to make their feet feel better while scaming people, as well as get a nice leg workout at the same time.  I was absolutely speechless, so speechless the only words I could muster up were "this motherf*cka right here". 

Take my advice, look at the shoes. You can't be fooled by the shoes!