Some of you will look at this picture and think "wow a fully loaded mini van. I wonder if its got a in dash navigation system that comes with it. Also, are those seats stain proof?" If you are a lady with kids you should be thinking that way. If you are a guy with kids...KILL YOURSELF.
Your life is officially over. I don't know what your wife/girlfriend/partner did to you but your testicles have officially been repossessed. Guys, if you saw this picture and said anything other than "oh, a mini van" to yourself just give up. Give up, because with that thought process life for you will be nothing more than baby spit up, soccer practice, running the kids to sleepovers and almost zero sex. The only time you will get sex is when the kids are at the babysitters...which is ALMOST NEVER.
You will be suckered, multiple times I may add, into having more kids when your wife "randomly" wants to have sex with you. And you'll be more excited than my dog when we pull the treats out and she cant contain her bladder. A month later your wife will say to you with a big smile on her face that she is pregnant again. In your head you will scream "F*CK, I'm never having sex with her again". R.E.M. will also be there singing "Its the end of the world as we know it" as you pass out and hit your head on the wall sconces. I don't know what a wall sconce is but you will because you will no longer have functioning testicles.
The moral of this story is before you ever think to agree to the test drive of the mini van at the car dealership go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, pull your pants down and think to yourself if you are willing to never see those little guys again. If you are okay with that then go ahead, purchase the mini van. If not, go back outside grab your wife by the hand and tell her you will be purchasing a gas guzzling SUV because the price of gas is a low price to keep your testicles.
Good work Skillet!
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